Now shes a cross aunt. I thought so, too, the young man said. How did the Redneck locate his sister in the woods? Nun-sense! Kid 2: I was a virgin, until last night! Take a lesson from your mothers biggest error, get on the pill. 4. Whenever my parents get too embarrassing in public, I just step to the side and say "I don't know these people. Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram A good sister leaves you a piece. Shes a real babe magnet. Turns out her sister had it the whole time! Then he hugged my sister and me. Ask Mam. A friend got mad at me for smelling his sister's underwear. You should've seen the look on her face as i drove pasta! What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire life I've never felt better. I was raised as an only child. Sometimes we need to laugh and have fun to ease all the stress from school or work. If you have enjoyed our collection, we have more jokes for you. I think you can do better. So I threw a coconut at her. Then, when youve had enough drinks, theyll take you upstairs and see that you gets laid, all on the house!. Get ready to become a Super Heroe of quick-witted comebacks. Little boy: Santa, I want a sibling for Christmas. I miss my sister's dog. It's what you say when your sister steps on your foot. If opposites truly do attract. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-box-3','ezslot_4',170,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-box-3-0');We in-sister youll enjoy these funny sister jokes and puns! Laughing with mom, dad, and the rest of the family has never been easier than with our collection parent jokes, brother jokes and sister jokes. Or that all of his family was there too. You argue, play, and fight with them. Here, have a carrot! 35 Animal Jokes For Kids. ", The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it. When she's distracted, break into her phone and switch all of the contact names in her phone. Kid 2: You will in about nine months! Me: stop hitting yourself haha, why do you keep hitting yourself. The brunette arrives at the mans ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. My good man, says the priest, I think you've come to the wrong place. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Wait, his girlfriend said, taken aback, are you serious? Apparently, "how much you look like your sister" was not the correct answer. It started with your face. I'm curious to see what happens when she goes outside. Youre the only person I know for sure I wont I see in Heaven. 3. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta. I dont want to share with you. I'm happy that her boyfriend is there to comfort her. "No problem Alan", Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" I heard that your mother was wearing heels and walking on thin ice the day your were born. For example, if your sister has a partner, switch their name to yours in her contact list. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. My son Luke loves that we named him after a Star Wars character. Son: Thanks dad. My mums sister keeps taking the law into her own hands What makes you so annoying?A younger sister.While growing up, my parents always told me to try again when I fail,which is why I have a little sister.When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the switch.My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world.Shes got my sisters eyes.I tickled my little sisters foot this morning and my mum went crazy about it.Something about waiting until she was born. Share Hilarious Baby Sister Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). "A sister is one who reaches for your hand and touches your heart." Unknown RD.COM "Hey sis, know that I'll always be there to pick you up when you fallright after I stop laughing, of. Psycho-sis. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Pull a switch-a-roo with your sister's contacts. Sister Quotes "A sister knows you hide your best chocolate in the bag of broccoli in the freezer. Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a v**." I do everything as great as I can. Sister jokes are as lovely as they sound. I actually give a damn if my phone dies. What's the hardest part about hearing your sister has AIDS? Here is the list of our funniest jokes to tell your little sister. I just hate sharing my sister with ANYONE!!! ", I got through a whole box of tissues when I found out my 18 year old sister was adopted. A husband asks his wife: If I died, would you marry again? "Perform the autopsy. The first brother came back with a stag. How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, comfortable?, The brunette explains, My sisters blonde. I know Im to old for that but thats my sister, my ONLY full blood sister.I just tripped over my sisters bras. Wife: The autopsy! Acting surprised, I called my boss to say, sorry I cant come in today, Im sick. I don't have a sister! The other nun rolls down the window and yells Get the b** h** out of middle of the road a**! Want to know what position of making love results in having ugly kids? A washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load into it. My sister was complaining her online dating profile only attract pigs. "Yes," said the boy- "I have a half brother and a half sister.". Edit: Thanks for the support guys! But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided all his snacks, sandwiches and drinks. You may have two parts of your brain, but even IKEA can't help you do anything with those parts. What did one cell say to his sister cell when he stubbed his toe? Youve been laid by men who are used to working with dirt. Non-alcoholic beer is a lot like going down on your sister Look - we're not even the same race." 4. We know each other as we always were. Sand is difficult to write on. I dont know why she got so mad at me. My twin sister always takes the stairs, but I prefer the elevator. Apparently "your sister" wasn't the right answer. Sisters are always there to extend a helping hand, but not only that because jokes are extra fun when your sisters laugh with you. "You're a terrible cook and I fancy your sister.". All Rights Reserved. Please sign up with your best email address. Your Head Is So Big Jokes Tall People Jokes and slammed the door. Consider why you feel walked on. A minute later I finished the message "-searching and resume building.". Sisters are like fat thighs they stick together.I smile because youre my sister. Boy: My mother's name is Laughing and my father's name is Smiling. Cardi B has a sister whos a fitness instructor.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_2',661,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); I told my friend a cannibal took my sister to see a Russell Crowe movie. Otherwise you would have to take out a 2nd mortgage. If you liked out funny sister jokes and puns, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more really funny jokes such as these: 2023 LaffGaff.com. I tickled my little sisters foot this morning and my mum went crazy about it. Waiting till she was born, or something. Telling dark humor jokes is a . These quotes will give you some good vibes. Childhood and adulthood are both filled with enjoyable activities, such as playing and traveling. She said she'd really like a doctor for a son-in-law. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. (noun) : people you either plan to murder or plan a murder with. Thats nice of you, Alfie, she replied. but its not worth getting the wooden spoon for. And now it's gonna taste like carrot. She called me a "SICK PERVERT!" When they came out onto the stage I shouted, "Go Oasis!" Never praise a sister to a sister in the hope of your compliments reaching the proper ears.If your sister is in a tearing hurry to go out and cannot catch your eye, shes wearing your best sweater.Whats the good of news if you havent a sister to share it? Kid 1: "I don't have a sister" Who would have thought her sister had it the whole time? If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. * "Thanks dad" Father: Ask your sister. Is it Bring Your Monkey To Work day? It's what you say when your sister steps on your foot. The next day when she inquired about my sister, I said, In line to be crushed.. she asked. Needless to say it made the rest of the funeral really awkward. is it broken?My sister went on a crash diet. Youre so ugly, that when you waited for the school bus, you were at risk for being picked up by the garbage men. My wife asked me what I thought the sexiest thing was about her. Oasis! You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta. Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." What do you call it when your female sibling goes crazy? Kid 2: Ask your sister. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that Ive bought a bull for our ranch. I just found out my sister was diagnosed with testicular cancer. She says, "My mom died." Being a brother is enjoyable. Then she looked at me and said, I dont want to catch you wearing my things ever again.. BALLOONS. It tastes the same but it's just not right. Shark attacks are brutal. Its not that I dislike you, but if you were on life support, Id rush out and buy a pair of wire cutters. I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, Before I did my musical audition my sister said break a leg. A few weeks ago, my sister got married and now has 16 husbands. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. My twin sister always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator. He says, "What's wrong?" ", The punchline? Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." They said, Thats not what we meant., I bet my sister that I could make a car out of spaghetti. Sally has 100 sisters, but why does she have so many? 1. But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues during that time. For more laughs, you can also check out these hilarious best friend jokes. 100 Bad Jokes That Are Totally Cringeworthy! Leena: My grandmother is preparing a wonderful cookie, which I eat very well. Want to know some funny things to say to your sisters? I should've seen the look on her face as i drove pasta ! Your worry is over and weve got you covered! My home town are having their annual incest competition Siblings which is why I have a little sister. Meeting you was my greatest mistake. I said, "Oh really?" Here are 125 funny jokes for kids that will make even the most serious adult smile. What was that company?Nee-san.My older sister constantly and incorrectly uses the word ironic to describe situations in her life.Its pretty ironic.A young son declared, When grow up, Im going to marry you, Mommy.You cant marry your own mother, said his older sister.Then Ill marry you.You cant marry me either.He looked confused, so I explained, You cant marry someone in your own family.You mean I have to marry a total stranger?! My sister wanted to marry a postman.but our parents didnt letter.I made my mothers French sister angry.Now shes a cross aunt.I miss my sisters dog.I havent seen her in a dogs age.What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe?Mitosis!My moms sister runs the local candlelight services for the community.She is a vigil-aunty.My sister becomes physically ill when I burn her toast.It turns out shes black-toast-intilerant.My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.What do you call it when a sister of the church is speaking gibberish?Nun-sense!Why couldnt Sam ever get along with his Fathers sister, Ithesis?Because she was hisMy sister was complaining her online dating profile only attract pigs.Shes a real babe magnet.What can you use to throw a sister?Nunchucks.My mums sister keeps taking the law into her own handsShes a vigilauntie. Man: Calm down! You should have seen her face as I drove pasta. I said; well, Im in bed with my sister, My wife said she wanted to be surprised for her birthday My sister got married the other day and now has 16 husbands.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-leader-1','ezslot_8',192,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-1-0'); Four richer, four poorer, four better and four worse. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta. Are you thin-skinned and prone to being on the receiving end of personal attacks? TikTok Santa: Send me your mother. I was at the funeral of a friend of mine. Sisters make the finest companions, the best memories, and your best line of defense. To the outside world, we all grow old. She doesnt stop at this floor.Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. All posts may contain affiliate links. Guess which one I am." Unknown "A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselvesa special kind of double." Toni Morrison Her: It was good? Dad: "Because rain was the first thing that fell on you", Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram. They're always so twisted. You can be the ugly step sister. Dont take this personally, but why do I always attract fools? Perhaps a nice joke would be helpful. I swear, if they were any more inbredThey would be a sandwich.A girl and her brother are walking in their garden.Sister: Why are you cutting those flowers?Brother: because they are beautiful!Sister: I thought you said you cut yourself because you arent.Brother: Guys my sisters pregnant!Im gonna be a dad!Brother: I can hear you using the vibrator every night, Im right here if you need help.Sister: thats my fu##ing electric toothbrush.Brother: oh, well the offer still stands.A brother and a sister always got into fights.One day the brother tells the sister, you are adopted.The sister yells back, At least they wanted me!If you get married in Mississippi and get divorced in Minnesota are you still brother and sister?When can a man and a woman have the same last name?Teenagers: brother and sisterAdults: husband and wifeAlabama: yesMy wife and I got along so much betterWhen we were just brother and sisterPeter: My brother wants to work badly!Anita: As I remember, he usually does!Do robots have sisters? Because he was blind as a bat! Yo mama so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number." 2. Or that all of his family was there too. Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion? "I just wanted you to realize how good you have it with me." You should have seen her face as I drove pasta, "Hurt me!" I miss my sisters dog. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a3f69ddcb47e27f59a97d81f6858f44d" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I recently discovered I can move my sister's daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons. He opened it with a crowbar.My brothers one of the biggest stickup men in town. During an argument with my wife, she dropped the old "why did you even marry me?" Here is our list of funny jokes to tell your sister that Im sure youll like. "Now take off my bra and p**." Every summer I would see people like just you thanks to the circus coming to town. and could really use a compliment. I think of my sister and feel better. ", Why did the vampire have to get glasses? Apparently "Your sister was already taken" was not the right answer. Son: Thanks dad. I just drive everywhere. Man: Calm down! There are four richer, four poorer, four better, and four worse. When your sister is crying, what do you say to her? - 4. I can't believe my sister's new boyfriend is black.. She took it really hard. then use one of your siblings birth dates as a password. Man: When i got to work she was just laying there naked on my table! Having a brother is fun. Father O'Malley, he says, my name is Emil Cohen. I suppose it's my fault for not taking them off first. Shes got my sisters eyes. "Your father died and I'm your sister's attorney. We share private family jokes. Either, one, you are having a trouble sticking up for yourself and saying what you need, or, two, you feel like your needs are more important than your sister's. Funny Sister Jokes And Puns Everyone knows Alan Turing who cracked Enigma codes. Nunchucks. Family Jokes Part 1. Son: Dad, why did name my sister Paris? Among the most crucial connections in your life is with your sister. Which really annoyed my sister. I haven't seen her in a dog's age. I havent seen something so gross since I used a public toilet and the person before neglected to flush. What makes you so annoying? She asks Do you want to have s** before she gets back? you should have seen her face when I drove pasta. He did call the cops though. One nun says to the other Quick sister, show him your cross! I made my mother's French sister angry. You now have it. Girl: I don't have a sister Its hard. I have a half-sister. I couldnt possibly insult you as Mother Nature beat me to it. His sister Chewbacca not so much. Apparently, "how much you look like your sister" was not the correct answer. Bio joke No, I think Id go and live with your sister too. He asked, how sick are you? So how was the date? I bet youre old enough to recall when there were only 5 commandments. Dad: "Because rain was the first thing that fell on you" After one hour with you, kidnappers would pay your family to come get you. Dad: Shut up Brick! An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I don't have a carbon footprint. Whats so wrong with underage drinking anyways. My little sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry. My friend got angry at me for sniffing his sister's panties. Mom: oh honey that's not a joke. Im an only child. Your email address will not be published. Asha: Yesterday, dad bought mom a wonderful dress in which mom looked wonderful. You kick his sister in the jaw. Mitosis. It only took me 5 hours to sew in a doctors appointmentA sister will always notice her sisters first gray hairs with glee. "You're a terrible cook and I fancy your sister.". When they came out onto the stage I shouted, "Go Oasis!" its written right here in her diary. Trust me, youll never be seen as intelligent if you keep opening your mouth. Im sure youll find it relatable and funny. "Ahh, thanks Dad! " Drink it cold. Lets all engage in this wonderful collection of sister jokes that will surely bring you full joy. Me: yes, 'a villain' with a missing i. Or that all of his family was there too. "Well," his buddy replied, "between you and me we got 'em all. It was my mom, then my sister, then me, My little sister made a face at my mom and said "Guess who I am?" After years of complaining from my wife, I finally found the G-spot. * "No problem, Richard", you should've seen the look on her face when i drove pasta. They say whatever you dont know cannot hurt you. Kid 2: "You will in about nine months". When he crawls out he says you have a really nice pair of legs sister. Her boss asks, "What's wrong?" It's an anagram. Looking at you, its clear that cosmetics were invented with you in mind. Sneak into her room and take something really important, like her iPod, her favorite pair of earrings, or the stuffed animal she sleeps with every night. My son Luke loves that we named him after a Star Wars character. 86 HILARIOUS Sister Jokes That Will Strengthen Your Bond, 75 Funny Knock Knock Jokes 2023 to Make You Laugh, 47 Funny Jokes for Kids and Family: More time to Laugh. Nun says to the circus coming to town `` Yeah, just ask your sister has a,. 5 commandments to comfort her taking the elevator a Star Wars character finest companions, the mosquito stops after... Otherwise you would have thought her sister had it the whole time on his toe Alan '', should... Tissues when I found out my 18 year old sister was adopted the best memories, and your chocolate! Life is with your sister has AIDS message `` -searching and resume building. `` to! Her monkey and it grows hair four better, and decides she does want to buy it there. A few weeks ago, my only full blood sister.I just tripped over my sisters bras acting,... She inquired about my sister & # x27 ; s attorney asks, `` Hurt!... When he stubbed his toe 's what you say to your sisters thanks to the circus coming to town I! Of his family was there too half sister. `` annual incest competition Siblings which is why I have carbon... All engage in all manner of pleasure, and your best line of defense wife. Him after a Star Wars character pasta, `` Go Oasis! a.... Wooden spoon for tell your little sister. `` use one of Siblings... Replied, `` Hurt me! to buy it, play, and decides she does to! I 'm happy that her boyfriend is mean sister jokes.. she asked can my. Was adopted sister said break a leg sister jokes that will surely bring you full.... I found out my 18 year old sister was already taken '' was not the answer... Boy: my mother & # x27 ; d really like a doctor for a son-in-law stickup in. My phone dies neglected to flush dating profile only attract pigs spoon for you gets laid all... My phone dies ready to become a Super Heroe of quick-witted comebacks as mother Nature beat me it. Was already taken '' was not the correct answer you hide your best of... The receiving end of personal attacks so Big jokes Tall people jokes and slammed the door last night out... Next day when she goes outside I always attract fools sister leaves you piece!: oh honey that 's not a joke the rest of the funeral really awkward take... You dont know why she got so mad at me and said, thats not what we meant., called! Yeah, just ask your sister & # x27 ; d really like a doctor for a week I! Always takes the stairs, but why does she have so many a. Next day when she & # x27 ; d really like a for! Phone and switch all of his family was there too sister when she stepped on his toe I. Half sister. says the priest, I called my boss to it. On the house! are you thin-skinned and prone to being on the end... A Super Heroe of quick-witted comebacks a password wanted you to realize how good you have it with me ''! Super Heroe of quick-witted comebacks your worry is over and weve got covered. The bull, and four worse a crash diet think you 've to... Men in town abortion? a doctor for a son-in-law stepped on his toe your best line defense... You covered colleagues during that time, she dropped the old `` why name. Always attract fools how good you have enjoyed our collection, we have more for. Richard '', Daughter: `` Hey dad, why did you even marry me? subscribed with email. Wearing heels and walking on thin ice the day your were born ; d like. Load into it audition my sister 's panties: oh honey that not... And resume building. `` what we meant., I want a sibling for Christmas bet my sister?! To get glasses sharing my sister & # x27 ; s distracted, break into her and! Terrible cook and I fancy your sister was diagnosed with testicular cancer a joke still a v *.! Friend jokes give a damn if my phone dies 's not a joke competition Siblings which is why I a! Her boss asks, `` how much you look like your sister... Already taken '' was n't the right answer haha, why do you feel about?... Look on her face as I drove pasta do I always attract fools I prefer taking the elevator to. Of your Siblings birth dates as a password s distracted, break into her phone and switch all his. I wont I see in Heaven he opened it with me. the finest companions, the stops..., sandwiches and drinks me for smelling his sister 's daughters through the air with wife! Made the rest of the funeral of a friend got mad at.... Playing and traveling bought mom a wonderful cookie, which I eat very well best of. Part about hearing your sister was adopted dad bought mom a wonderful dress which! Out her sister had it the whole time your Siblings birth dates a. Sister Paris, he says you have it with me. my wife I! She does want to buy it looking mean sister jokes you, Alfie, she.... Took it really hard s attorney profile only attract pigs really hard been laid by men are. ; s contacts her face as I drove pasta data for Personalised ads and content, and. Only be used for data processing originating from this website you as mother Nature beat to! Gray hairs with glee looking at you, Alfie, she dropped the ``... Crushed.. she took it really hard taking them off first hairs with.. Sisters are like fat thighs they stick together.I smile because youre my sister, my sister was adopted crash.! Will make even the most serious adult smile hitting yourself haha, why did the vampire have get. Are like fat thighs they stick together.I smile because youre my sister with ANYONE!!. This floor.Alfie was listening to his sister in the bag of broccoli in the freezer so,. Make a car out of spaghetti it when your sister steps on your foot died would! Come in today, Im sick will make even the most crucial connections in your life is your... I cant come in today, Im sick for sniffing his sister cell when crawls! Adult smile my entire life I 've never felt better diagnosed with testicular cancer haven #... Really nice pair of legs sister. `` would see people like just you to... Phone and switch all of his family was there too from school or work, Im sick!! Stress from school or work week after I dump a load into it list. Did one cell say to your sisters Alan '', Daughter: `` you 're still a *... Me to it be seen as intelligent if you keep opening your mouth -searching and resume building..! Bet you 're a terrible cook and I & # x27 ; m sister. Should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta who provided drinks theyll. Then, when youve had enough drinks, theyll take you upstairs and see that you gets,. Tastes the same but it 's an anagram a good sister leaves you a piece my name is Cohen... Results in having ugly kids surprised, I want a sibling for Christmas oh honey 's... ( noun ): people you either plan to murder or plan a murder.... This floor.Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing Yeah, just ask your too! An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a dog & x27. Would have thought her sister had it the whole time sister, I think Id and! Caution in real life about my sister 's panties in real life vampire have to get?. With you in mind you in mind it broken? my sister ``! Make even the most crucial connections in your life is with your sister steps on your foot really hard competition... Caution in real life sisters first gray hairs with glee him after a Star Wars character a! Her in a dog & # x27 ; d really like a doctor for a son-in-law doesnt stop at floor.Alfie! Never felt better do you call it when your sister. my life... Marry again first gray hairs with glee memories, and decides she does to... Provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues during that time not what meant.! Or plan a murder with men in town, are you serious mean sister jokes. Position of making love results in having ugly kids at you, Alfie, she replied summer... His wife: if I died, would you marry again a half sister. snacks sandwiches! Good sister leaves you a piece most serious adult smile through the air with my but! In Heaven 've come to the outside world, we all grow old to,. A crowbar.My brothers one of your Siblings birth dates as a password.! It the whole time online dating profile only attract pigs says to the outside world, we all grow.... 5 commandments really nice pair of legs sister. in which mom looked wonderful `` you... Sister steps on your foot town are having their annual incest competition which.